This weekend in Pittsburgh was not only a reunion, but definitely sparked some interesting conversations between me and my friends! Without going into too much detail, the topic of jump offs came up between me and one of my friends. My friend Kristina* is in a friendship with a male friend and that friendship could go to the next level (no, not a relationship but friends with benefits). Actually, according to many, the friendship should’ve gone to the next level a long time ago, but the point is she is wondering does that make her a jump off in her friend’s eyes.
Most of my female friends don’t put themselves in “jump off” situations, so I wondered would my friend really be a jump off if she decided to take her friendship to another level. I mean, they are both consenting adults who want to and at the same time, they aren’t looking to be in a relationship (although they have been playing this flirting game for over 2 years so you never know about these two). At the same time, they are friends and do send “where have you been messages” when they haven’t talked or seen each other in a while. So a true established friendship is there. So to ease my friend’s worries, I went online and found a blog that talked about the true definition of a jump off.
According to the blog site, a jump off doesn’t have any benefits outside of what takes place after 12am; meaning you don’t hang out, go to dinner & movies, have conversations about other things than sex etc. The only thing you talk about is when you’ll be hanging out after 12am again (you get my drift).
Check out http://www.nakedwithsockson.com/2009/02/17/definition-of-a-jump-off/ for the entire blog.
If you’re really unsure what you think you’ll be labeled as, just ask. Guys will be honest with you, believe me! I’ve learned this from hanging out with my male friends. Guys are honest; most of the time females just think they’re jerks because they speak the truth and say what we don’t want to hear. In this situation though, Kristina is most likely not a jump off. If she was, her friend would’ve moved on by now and not care when they didn’t interact as friends. So who knows what will happen in Kristina’s case; if she does decide to move on to a friends with benefits relationship, she just has to be prepared that the interaction between her and her friend will never be the way it was before.
*Name has been change