Picture courtesy of Black Book Club
There are a lot of guys out there who are avoiding relationships and living the life as the ultimate bachelor. Living in apartments or houses with multiple roommates, running the streets with the boys and doing whatever they feel like without having to answer to anyone.
But surprisingly, there are A LOT of guys out there who are ready to settle down! Yes ladies, you read that last statement correctly. I can think of at least four male friends who are ready to be in a relationship (and some even go as far as saying they’re ready to get married). And because I know them and some of their friends, I find this quite surprising.
Is this a new phenomenon? Where have I been? Last time I checked, guys weren’t looking for anything serious. To be perfectly honest, a lot of women aren’t looking for anything serious either, contrary to all of this why are {black} women single talk. Just the other day a friend of mine told me she thinks she needs to a break from dating.
In a society where every young adult in their twenties is “working on themselves” and enjoying life without a significant other, where did this need to want to be in a relationship come from? Is this the “it’s almost winter, I need to find a cuddle buddy” mentally? Maybe it has something do with age or lifestyle. One of my friends is turning 29 this year so he’s looking for someone who will eventually be his wife, although if you heard his stories you would NEVER think he was ready to settle down! Another friend works as a promoter, which means he parties almost 7 days a week, yet he’s seeking the companionship of a female as well. Is he looking to balance the party lifestyle with some tranquility at home?
Ladies, something must be in the water to allow this turn of events to take place! As much as society would like us to believe there aren’t any eligible {black} men out there who are serious about dating and relationships, I beg to differ. Maybe women are looking in the wrong places because I could point you to four men in my circle who are serious about settling down.
For those of you ladies looking for men to seriously date, they’re out there. And as I’ve learned, they may be right in front of you, you’ve just been too blind to notice. Ladies let’s admit it; we often get in our own way allowing for great opportunities to pass by for a number of reasons, half of which are because of our own stupidity. Well if you’re serious about dating and settling down, get out of your own way because the guys are out there waiting for you!!
August 26th, 2010 on 1:19 pm
Alright….every 20 something year old female knows of some guy who wants to settle down. But in truth…thats not gonna be the guy we want to be with. There’s a reason he’s not out there like the rest of the young bachelors enjoying his life….(obviously theres something wrong with him). So, I agree we are standing in our on way…but at the same time for those 3 or 4 guys you know that want to settle down, I can find 9 or 10 sexy ones that don’t. And right now….they’re gonna be first pick.
August 26th, 2010 on 6:50 pm
@ renee….HAHAHAHAHAHA…
August 26th, 2010 on 6:55 pm
Renee- lol @ obviously there’s something wrong w them.
There r men that r ready to settle down but they gotta do it on their own timetable.
August 28th, 2010 on 9:46 pm
I noticed in my mid-20s that almost every guy I dated who was over 30 wanted to get married asap. I felt as though they viewed marriage as part of a longer check-list: Finish College; Finish Grad School; Get Great Job; Buy a Place; Get Married; and Have Kids. In that order.
Now that I’m in my 30s, I meet some guys who want to get married, but a lot more are in this perpetual bachelor mode. But, I appreciate that what I’m looking for doesn’t fit into either mode.
Good post, as always, Diva! xoxo
August 28th, 2010 on 9:52 pm
It’s funny, all the guys I know who have talked about being in relationships are in their mid twenties!
September 6th, 2010 on 11:06 pm
Renee is right. All women know of a few eligible bachelors looking to settle, but generally aren’t interested in those specific men…but that doesn’t mean that some other girl’s eligible bachelors wouldn’t catch our eyes. Girls need to host a party similar to the “Bring your Ex Party” they had on Sex and the City. You bring a man who is looking to settle down with you to the party. Then you work the room and meet the men who have landed in your girlfriend’s “friend zone.” Just because I do not have an interest in my male friends doesn’t mean that you won’t! To each her own…haha.
September 9th, 2010 on 9:39 pm
Contrary to beliefs of many [black] women, a lot of us men do want to be married and settled down one day. However, I think I can speak for a large percent of men when I say our concern is settling down before we each a point where we are comfortable. We no longer live in the times where people build themselves to where they want to be in life after settling down, but before, which explains why its more common for people to get married in their late 20s/ early 30s now where as a couple generations ago more of our family members were getting married in their early 20s and for some their teens.
In short, a guy is ready to settle down with someone else when he feels he himself is settled, and not until that point will he feel ready to settle down into a lasting long term relationship.