A Diva State of Mind

There’s one in every group of girlfriends; the friend that always has a guy around.  She’s always talking to someone. She loves to share the highs and lows of the “relationships,” but there seems to always be a common theme.  The guys she talks to always seem to end up being no good (aka a jerk) and she keeps them around anyway or she quickly loses interest in one and finds a new guy to talk to immediately. 

Please keep in mind this is my opinion, but to me this is toxic behavior. It’s a red flag that something else is going on. Why do some women feel the need to always have a guy around? Even if the guy is a complete as*hole (lied, cheated, put your health at risk), they still want to keep them around? What void do women feel is being filled by having guys around constantly?

We’ve all been in situations where someone has done us wrong and we try to hold on to the idea of who we want them to be and we just can’t let them go.  Some women will use the following excuses: I care for him, we’ve invested to much time, blah blah blah.  But after much observation, I think I’ve finally discovered the real reason women jump from guy to guy without taking a break (a break would equal months of being single) or SETTLE for bullsh*t presented before them: there is a lack of self love.

To that one friend in every group of girlfriends, you may need to take a break from guys and determine who you really are. When you have guys around constantly, you never have time to breathe and focus on yourself.  If you really took the time to understand yourself, you’d know that you’re beautiful, intelligent and capable of conquering the world. You don’t need a guy around ALL the time to validate you.  If you really loved yourself, you wouldn’t continue to play games and CHOOSE to keep toxic people around.

By taking time to work on ourselves, we would learn to appreciate ourselves and know that we deserve to be treated with respect. We would treat people the way we want to be treated.  We’d stop playing games and hold those around us to the same standard.  Taking the time to really understand and love ourselves would help us comprehend what it is we hope to gain out of life and what our expectations are in ourselves and other people.  

Once we love ourselves, we hold the power. Self love gives you the power to set the standard for what it is you’ll tolerate.   

Please note: While the title of this post is directed towards women, the message can apply to all of us!