This past week, an article was posted online talking about women and condoms. The question was, should women carry them? Some men don’t like the idea of women having condoms; for some reason to them it means she’s promiscuous. I beg to differ.
We live in the 21st century. This year we recognize the 30 year anniversary of the first AIDS case. More and more women are having unplanned pregnancies and STDs cases are still rising. Unfortunately black women top the list of those most affected by all three situations. In this day and age, women CAN NOT rely solely on men to be responsible and always be prepared when it’s time to engage in sexual relations. It would be irresponsible of women to think that they too shouldn’t be prepared. Why should that responsibility fall on the shoulders of men only?
Here is where the double standard lies: If a woman has condoms either in her purse or at home, to a lot of men (not all) that means she is “getting it in” aka a hoe!! She must get around because she has a stash of condoms. Women with condoms are looked down upon. However, if a guy pulls out a condom or has them at home, he’s doing what he’s supposed to do. He should have condoms. Why does a woman have to be looked down upon? Why can’t she just be one that is being proactive if and when she finds herself in a position where protection is needed?
Junior year of college, I moved off campus and my dad sat down with me at home and stressed the importance of taking care of myself and being safe, since I was truly living out on my own. At the end of our conversation, he pulled out a small box of condoms for me to keep in my nightstand. At the time, I was SHOCKED! Did my Dad really give me a box of condoms?!? AWKWARD! But after that conversation, I understood the message my father was trying to tell me. He wanted me to know and understand that only I can truly protect myself and I can not rely on a man to have my best interest in mind.
Ladies, I urge you, if you are engaging in sexual relations, protect yourself. If you feel it’s necessary to carry condoms in your purse there are small compacts available for you to store them if you don’t want them to be so obvious. I’m not saying you need to walk around with the entire box, one or two should do. Keep a small box in the drawer by your bed. I mean after all, anything can happen and the last thing you want to do is NOT be prepared. I’m sure catching an STD or an unplanned pregnancy is not what you envision for your future.
What are your thoughts on woman carrying condoms?
June 10th, 2011 on 12:41 pm
I co-sign everything you said! The idea that a woman carrying condoms is a heaux is a ridiculous! If women are having sex they are entitled to protecting themselves. Men should be happy that a woman is proactive about her sexual health.
I’m close with my Dad but I definitely don’t feel like we could talk about sex when I was in college. Awkward aint even the word…I definitely went to my mom for that kinda stuff.
June 10th, 2011 on 5:47 pm
I also wish my parents were as open as your Dad was. I believe it would have helped me so much during my college years.
This double standard is killing us as women. If the man you’re with is bothered by you carrying condoms then he is probably not one you need to have sexual relations with. Part of being an adult is being responsible and this includes our sexual health as well. The only person who can protect you is YOU!
I hope I can break that cycle while raising my daughter to be a sexually responsible adult.
April 25th, 2013 on 12:13 am
I totally agree! We can’t rely on the guy anymore to use condoms. Considering how high the STI rates are, we obviously are not doing a good job of protecting ourselves. There are so many double standards in a woman carrying condoms vs a guy. But if you look at it this way, if you cant be mature enough to buy the condom then you probably shouldn’t be having sex. I recently wrote an article about this very dilemma: http://blog.beforewedo.com/2013/04/carrying-your-own-condom-is-worse-than.html?showComment=1366826158315