It has been a LONG time since I’ve written personal post around the topic of dating and relationships, so here’s one for your enjoyment! 
I met a guy last year through mutual friends; let’s call him RJ. He was tall, dark and handsome and I can’t deny that we did have what I thought was chemistry. We would see each other at events in the city so it was inevitable that we exchanged information.
Now I have heard from some guys say that they don’t mind if a female takes a little initiative when it comes to approaching them. We’re in our mid/late twenties; that shouldn’t even be an issue, but to some guys it is. Anyway, liking what I saw, I asked RJ out on a few occasions last year and he would either not respond or respond too late.
After a while, I came to my senses and just stopped reaching out all together. I figured, if he was really interested, he would respond or be proactive in trying to hang out. Months passed and I received a text message from RJ suggesting that we hang out and catch up. Thoughts in my head “ummm…I think he meant to text that to someone else.”
To keep the story short, let’s just say after that text message, we talked on the phone quite frequently for a couple weeks getting to know each other and even talked about hanging out, but of course none of that transpired. When it came to hanging out, again he just wasn’t very proactive and I for one do not beg anyone to spend time with me. Either you want to or you don’t.
Similar to the “Where Is The Follow Thru” dilemma, ladies also face the “playing hard to get” dilemma, if that’s what you want to call it. In public, the guy flirts and comes across as interested, but nothing ever goes beyond that. Now that may have been cute in college, but I am grown and I do not have the time or patience for games. You are either interested or you are not. It’s really that simple.
Fellas, do some of you (I refuse to group you all into one category because I know you’re all the same) act this way just to boost your ego? Is it exciting to know that there are women you are interested in you? Why commit to something so small like hanging out if you’re really not interested in doing so?
I guess this is just another case of someone wasting my Verizon text messages and minutes because of course he had Sprint….
June 28th, 2011 on 3:27 am
Girl!! You hit the nail on the head!! I am in a very similar situation right now! This guy is all that & more but between his job & his city events we barely get to see each other. When we get together & get to talk there’s this amazing connection but he can “disappear” for days or weeks & pop up like nothing happened. I’m feeling him but if he’s too busy now, he definitely won’t be able to handle the kind of relationship I want. This is going to get interesting.
June 28th, 2011 on 2:32 pm
honestly, it just sounds like dude wasn’t interested…he was prolly just being nice cause u have mutual friends…
June 28th, 2011 on 4:41 pm
“A Man will Chase a Woman Until She’s Caught Him”
By that I mean, something happens in the “courting” stage where men at first love to chase after the attention, affection, etc. of a woman, but the moment she reciprocates the feeling as though to come across as begging for the same from him, we get bored because we no longer have to chase, because we already have you… or should I say, you have us. With some guys, women have to master the art of acknowledging that they like a guy and want to be with him, but make him know he always has to put in work to keep you with him. Make him believe you can find someone else better… even if you know that he’s the one for you.
June 29th, 2011 on 1:24 pm
BEYONCE SAID IT BEST: THE BEST THING HE’LL NEVER HAVE…AND IF A GUY’S FEELIN’ YOU NO MATTER HOW BUSY HE IS HE’LL MAKE TIME FOR YOU…SIGNING OFF THE SAGA CONTINUES…
July 8th, 2011 on 1:59 pm
I would have to agree that it sounds like he’s just not that into you…which is totally not a bad thing. Recognize and move on. When a person shows you who they are believe them. No need to question, guess, or make up reasons why…he aint it!