I was watching “Single Ladies” (I love this show) last night and the topic of deal breakers came up. Val and Jerry have a wonderful relationship; however, Jerry has four kids and has been married and divorced 3 times. Val on the other hand has never been married and definitely envisions having children in her future.
Jerry proposed to Val that they could have a life together but it would just be the two of them; no kids and no marriage. I was surprised that her friends encouraged her to think about just being with Jerry despite him not wanting the same future she wants.
Get More: Single Ladies, Christina Carter, Keisha Greene, Valerie Stokes
So I pose the question, if you were with someone who did not share the same views as you did when it came to deal breakers, would you end the relationship? I know, they are called deal breakers for a reason so why would you stay? But often times, we all say we want x, y and z until we’re caught up in the rapture. Once we’re in love, we sometimes view things differently and our wants change. Maybe we don’t have to get married. Maybe we don’t have to have kids.
Would you ever be willing and able to compromise on those things called deal breakers because you were so in love?
At the end of the episode, Val decided to end her relationship with Jerry. She couldn’t be in a relationship with him trying to make that enough.
August 2nd, 2011 on 7:31 pm
As a fairly young man (22) who envisions myself having multiple children and being able to worship and fellowship with my wife and children, I would say that certain things should be discussed prior to being in a relationship. The courting period should consist of discussions of what people want in relationships down the line. I learned the hard way. SO I would say I wouldn’t get the opportunity to break off a relationship with someone who doesn’t have similar goals as myself, mostly because I wouldn’t date someone (again) who doesn’t have similar goals and ideals for a relationships that are like me own.
August 3rd, 2011 on 10:07 pm
I agree we can get caught up in the idea of what we want, and ignore something good that’s right in front us. But I completely agree with Val’s decision, and would have done the same thing. As a female, I want the marriage and the kids. I think Jerry is a great guy and I respect him for being honest with her. But to eliminate the possibility of all her hopes and dreams is a deal breaker.
He could have expressed how he felt and said he wanted to be honest with her and take things slow, but he basically told her forget about marriage and children. He forced that deal breaker by limiting himself.
August 8th, 2011 on 12:24 am
Interesting post! I’ve definitely changed my mind whether because of my feelings for the person I was with or whatever else was going on in my life at that time.