Maybe I am having a quarter life crisis. I don’t know, but what I do know is that lately, I’ve been feeling like I’m just going through the motions. Maybe this is my mind and body’s reaction to being overwhelmed. With a recent 2 week job furlough (yes I was one of the 4,000 furloughed that was talked about all over the news), anxiously wanting my business to take off, housing stuff, the desire to continue to work on maintaining strong positive friendships and now car issues resulting from an event this past weekend, this girl is emotionally spent.
I, like so many others, have a daily routine. I wake up in the morning, go to work for 9 hours, maybe attend an after work event and then go home. By Thursday, I’m trying to figure out what I will be doing for the weekend and once that’s decided, I just go with it. It’s hard to describe, but it feels like I have lost a true connection with the people and things around me.
Referencing to the car event I mentioned earlier. This past weekend I was driving in the rain and I end up sliding literally across all 6 lanes of the road, meaning I jumped the median and ended up facing ongoing traffic. This has resulted in my car needing a lot of work in order to be repaired. Thankfully no traffic was coming in that direction and no one was standing on the median, otherwise I or someone else may not be here today.
As you can imagine, I was completely frightened and I’m still frightened at the thought of how Saturday could’ve turned out. At the same time, I also feel like that was a wakeup call; God was trying to get my attention. I still haven’t figured exactly what He was trying to tell me. Was that His way of letting me know that there is more to life than just doing? Is it time to change some things so I can really feel because my heart is longing for more?
I rarely write an extremely personal post, so I don’t sit here and write this one for sympathy. Instead I write it because someone else may be feeling the way I feel or someone may have experienced what I am feeling and provide some insight. I don’t know what the best solution is to “cure” oneself of going through the motions. How I feel is something I’m not sure I have ever felt before. No worries; this doesn’t mean I’m going to isolate myself from the world. It just means I am seeking for more and hope through prayer and patience I can find out what that is. I look forward to the day where I no longer feel like I am just doing and not being because I know when I reach that place, it will be a wonderful feeling.
August 18th, 2011 on 3:42 pm
I too have been there and you have to separate and analyze your personal relationship with God and friendships, not saying that this is easy but it can be done. If your unsure about what God is trying to reveal to you ask him and he’ll tell you.
August 19th, 2011 on 2:23 pm
I feel the same way. Sometimes it’s as if I’m just ready to find out what’s next. I want/need changes to my routine. I don’t have any insight on how to get there, but I know we both will get to a point where we aren’t just doing, we’re living!
August 22nd, 2011 on 7:46 pm
I am extremely grateful you’re ok after that car scare. That would’ve spooked anybody and made them reflect!
In terms of doing + being…I know our true calling as ‘people’ is to do and be both. When we’re not doing both, we always feel a little off, off center, a bit outside of ourselves. I def know the feeling. And on the flip, I’m not sure if we ever really reach the perfect balance with the two, but it is definitely a great journey to try. You’re on the right path
and you’re aware of what’s going on around you. That’s a gift.
August 25th, 2011 on 12:41 am
Glad you’re ok! We’ve all been there but you have to cast your cares on him! He cares for you. This feeling/your situation is just temporary. It will pass. Just glad you are seeking GOD in moments like this. I’m only a phone call/email/tweet away if you need to vent
August 25th, 2011 on 1:46 am
Thanks Carmen. You’re right, not doing both does feel a little off balance. I think right now I’m just doing and missing the being which has me feeling the way I feel right now.
August 25th, 2011 on 1:47 am
Thanks chica!!! I really appreciate it
September 3rd, 2011 on 6:42 pm
First of all, I’m glad that no one was hurt. I would be very, very frightened, too. We all go through the motions now and then, and you have a lot of your plate right now. Continue to listen for God’s word and go easy on yourself! Call or email if you need reinforcements. xoxo
September 6th, 2011 on 4:14 am
I’m sorry that you were furloghed…hope it’s over soon! I also went through a quarter-life crisis last year…it’s hard, but you will pull through it.
Shasie of Live Life in Style
October 4th, 2011 on 3:40 pm
As I sit here and read your post, I suddenly realize that I’m going through the same thing…well, maybe I didn’t just realize it but I know I’ve been going through something these past few months and couldn’t articulate my thoughts into words. I appreciate you taking the time to put your thoughts on your site because it has helped me to figure out that it is something that many people experience. I’m also glad to know that I can make it through based on the feedback from the other commenters. Sometimes it’s hard to discuss my feelings with others because they feel that it’s not as important in comparison to other life matters, but it is something that I’m experiencing and for the moment, it does matter to me. And it’s important to me. I too will be seeking more, with God’s direction, and I know that with His grace and mercy, I will prevail. Thank you for your post and I think your blog is great and I will be visiting it more. It’s nice to read a blog with sustenance, instead of just the who’s, what’s, where’s, when’s and why’s of today’s pop culture. You may not make it a habit to post personal thoughts but it was refreshing to read. I was surfing the internet regarding my feelings and your post was in relation to what I’ve been experiencing (I googled “diva in motions” and your post was the fifth option). Thanks again!! Be blessesd!
October 4th, 2011 on 3:43 pm
As I sit here and read your post, I suddenly realize that I’m going through the same thing…well, maybe I didn’t just realize it but I know I’ve been going through something these past few months and couldn’t articulate my thoughts into words. I appreciate you taking the time to put your thoughts on your site because it has helped me to figure out that it is something that many people experience. I’m also glad to know that I can make it through based on the feedback from the other commenters. Sometimes it’s hard to discuss my feelings with others because they feel that it’s not as important in comparison to other life matters, but it is something that I’m experiencing and for the moment, it does matter to me. And it’s important to me. I too will be seeking more, with God’s direction, and I know that with His grace and mercy, I will prevail. Thank you for your post and I think your blog is great and I will be visiting it more. It’s nice to read a blog with sustenance, instead of just the who’s, what’s, where’s, when’s and why’s of today’s pop culture. You may not make it a habit to post personal thoughts but it was refreshing to read. I was surfing the internet regarding my feelings and your post was in relation to what I’ve been experiencing (I googled “diva in motions” and your post was the fifth option). Thanks again!! Be blessed!
November 11th, 2011 on 4:29 am
Thank you for writing this. I can relate. Life happens fast. Having a business, 2 little boys, house work, etc..Its the American dream, why am I on auto pilot? I am blessed to have a dear friend that will say occasionally, you are not really here. I have found that what has helped me is the awareness of my disconnection. I have recently forced myself to stop during my daily routine and “be in the moment”. I have found unexpected feelings of happiness when i stop and really listen to my children, or even taking a minute and talking to a random cashier at the grocery store. I know this all sounds odd, and I’m praying that this constant reminding myself to take a moment and “be here” will become more natural. I’m thinking that saying…”Stop and smell the roses” really is a big part of living life. Take care, drive safe and God Bless!