Last week, the February 2012 cover of Essence was released. While Gabrielle Union and Dwyane Wade received a lot of praise for looking fabulous and being so in love, a lot of people criticized the relationships:
“…But to put their romantic relationship on the cover of a magazine as an ideal worth celebrating assumes that we all have short term memories and is selling Essence readers (and the notion of Black Love) short. You play how you practice. You can’t start a relationship where one partner is not free and clear from their spouse and expect it to yield something healthy.” Ije commenting on Clutch Magazine
“Of course u can find love at any age when u help him cheat on his wife. SMH that ppl saying how great of a couple they are…just remember how u got him is how u lose him!!” – edm325 commenting on Fashion Bomb Daily
Let me start off by saying I do not condone cheating AT ALL! If you’re in a committed relationships, that is absolutely unacceptable. BUT, if you and your spouse have decided to divorce, have become legally separated, no longer live under the same roof and are just waiting for the ink to dry on your divorce papers, does that mean you’re free to date??
A divorce settlement can take a few months or it can take YEARS and honestly I do not think it’s realistic to ask any man or woman to wait YEARS before they can start dating again. I’m not saying you should file for divorce on Monday and hook up with a new boo on Tuesday; that looks a little shady. But I do think that if a divorce is going to take an extended period of time to become final, one should not have to put their life on hold during that time period. That’s unrealistic.
For example, I know someone who has been legally separated from her husband for over 10 years. Do you really think they’ve been sitting around not dating for 10 years!?!? YEA RIGHT! They have both moved on and dated other people.
We don’t know the specifics of Gabrielle Union and Dwyane Wade’s relationships, but if he and his wife were separated and waiting for the divorce to be final, is it wrong for him to move on and find someone who he can be in a healthy relationships with? As long as these two are content with their situation, who are we to judge?
People often separate, move out of their marital home, and start dating again before the divorce is finalized. Depending upon the circumstances a divorce can take as little as a few months to as long as a couple of years. I’m not saying I approve of people dating before their divorce is finalized but I don’t think it’s fair to call them home wreckers or adulterers for moving on with their lives before the ink on the papers is dry. – Jamila commenting on Clutch Magazine
What do you think? If You’re Legally Separated, Are You Free To Date? Would you ever date someone going through a divorce? Why or why not?
January 10th, 2012 on 8:39 pm
As a woman, who dated, while she was separated and who is now legally divorced, I say if the marriage is over it is over. I know of few people who, have waited until the divorce was final, to resume dating and those people are usually the ones who want to believe that eventually their spouse will come to see that the marriage can somehow be saved. Or who were so hurt after the marriage dissolved that they don’t ever think that they can move on.
January 22nd, 2012 on 1:16 am
I read the article on the plane today. According to the article it may not have gone down the way we all think.