A Diva State of Mind

At the end of 2012 I decided I was ready to change my hair again. After three years of short hair, I wanted to grow my hair out so I had the option to wear it curly or in top knots on hot summer days (getting my hair to that stage will probably take years)!  After talking to my hair stylist, she also told me I really didn’t need relaxers anymore so my last relaxer was in December. Let the process to grow my hair AND go natural begin!

In January I got braids. I wore those for two months and by the time I took them out, my hair was at the “in between stage.” It wasn’t really short and it wasn’t really long. The “in between stage” is the WORST so I thought I’d try getting a weave. Folks have testified that wearing a sewn-in weave helped their hair grow so why not give it a try?!

Day of weave installation

After doing some research and asking a thousand questions to friends and my hair stylist, I got a sewn-in a few weeks ago. When I see other women wearing good weaves, they look so natural. So I was hoping for the same result. Even though I had quality hair and the stylist did a great job with the installation, I didn’t FEEL like my weave looked natural. Once I stepped out in public, I immediately became insecure. Is the length of the hair too much? Does it look like I’m wearing a wig? People are probably looking at me and thinking ‘what is that on her head?’ These were the constant thoughts that ran through my head.

Part of the issue was that the stylist originally doubled up on some tracks which added extra volume.  After removing those pieces, the weave looked more natural but I was still uncomfortable.  I haven’t had hair past my shoulders since I was 8 or 9 years old so let’s just say walking around with long hair was an adjustment. Oh the tricks our mind plays on us when it comes to how we view ourselves!

2-3 weeks after installation

I’m not sure being uncomfortable with my weave is really a big deal, but the experience was definitely a lesson on how to deal with insecurities. My job as a personal stylist is to help women look and feel good about themselves; like so many women, I too sometimes don’t feel good about myself. We’re all a work in progress. It is natural for us to be insecure at times, but we can’t let our insecurities control us.  If you don’t think you’re beautiful, write “I am beautiful” on your mirror and recite it to yourself every day until you believe it. If you don’t like your current weight, decide today you are going to something to change it. If you’re insecurity is fueled by the messages you receive from folks around you, it is time to change your circle. If you’re struggle with insecurities, I challenge you to change your environment in order to turn those negative views into positive ones.

Although it’s just hair, being reassured by friends and strangers that my hair looks nice was the affirmation I needed to accept and embrace my new look. After all, I spent a pretty penny on this hair and installation so it has to work for the next 2 months! As I continue on this journey to grow my hair out, don’t be surprised if you see long hair on me again this fall.

What are some things you do to help you overcome insecurities?

A$AP Rocky is the latest entertainer to cause quite a stir with misguided comments about women.

In a recent interview with The Coveteur, A$AP Rocky shared his thoughts on red lipstick:

“But for real, for me, I feel like with the red lipstick thing it all depends on the pair of complexion. I’m just being real. You have to be fair skinned to get away with that. Just like if you were to wear like-f*cking for instance, what do dark skin girls have that you know fair skinned girls cant do…Purple lipstick? Naw, that looks stupid on all girls! Purple lipstick, guys! Like, what the f*ck…”

I really hate reading rapper interviews because they never speak in complete sentences. But I digress…

Does anyone else think this is a form of colorism?? A$AP Rocky needs to leave beauty advice to the experts because he clearly knows nothing about red lipstick. Last time I checked, red lipstick comes in a variety of shades that compliment every skin tone! And don’t get me started on purple lipstick. Purple lipstick is gorgeous; especially a dark plum shade that can be worn during the fall and winter season. I LOVE my purple lipstick. It’s a great alternative to red and looks gorgeous against dark skin women.  As the Huffington Post pointed out, ASAP’s Rocky’s fellow Harlem-native rapper Azealia Banks is making a pretty penny off her purple-hued pout.

Messages like this by folks like A$AP Rocky only emphasizes why campaigns like ImREDy are so important. Women of ALL complexions need to embrace their beauty and not be afraid to wear whatever they want. Red lipstick is fun, fierce, bold, sexy and helps women exude a confidence they may not always show (At least it does that for me. I hadn’t worn red lipstick for over 10 years until I decided to participate in the ImREDy campaign). All it takes is a little trial and error to find the correct shade.

In response to this foolish statement about dark-skinned women and red lipstick, Clutch Magazine offers some great advice on finding the perfect shade:

• If you have a warm, golden undertone (think Gabrielle Union), reds with a yellow or brown base will work for you.
• If your skin is more cool and you have a red undertone (think Viola Davis) or blue undertone (think Alek Wek), deep reds with a blue base are your best bet.
• If your skin is olive based (think Lauryn Hill), reds with a neutral undertone are the best way to go.
• Bonus: If your lips are dark, dab some concealer on them to even out the tone before applying lipstick.

In the words of Tamar Braxton, A$AP Rocky “TRIED IT!” My advice to him: stick to rapping and modeling in magazines.

Read his full interview here.

I miss the Lil’ Kim of the 90s…

Source: www.afterld.com

Last week a photo surfaced of Lil’ Kim looking like this.  And she blames the media and photoshop for this mess picture:

Source: www.eonline.com

Years & years they have been photoshopping pics of me & sabotaging my image. I’m not putting up with that sh*t no more. All they have been proving is im THAT b*tch with or without an album out & they always want to attack & bring down the real ones. Today was the last straw. You saw me on TV, people were posting pics all day… None of them looked the way that fake picture looked. Here is a side by side that shows the sh*t they did & a few more raw, unedited pics. You guys f*cked it up for all the Paps. F*ck outta here. None of y’all Paps is getting a pic now.

Not one to hold her tongue, Wendy Williams addressed the photo on her talk show:

Do you want to talk about Lil’ Kim and that face of hers? *sips drink and almost spits it out laughing* Okay. Lil’ Kim has been making headlines because of her dramatic new look. It’s not necessarily a new look, it’s been over a course of maybe the last decade. She’s just been getting stuff it looks like done, done, filled, filled — it’s pulled so tight now Kim it looks like a pin would just pop ya. Kim is claiming that the blogs have been altering her pictures and have been sabotaging her image for years. Let me just say I agree with Kim on this particular one and then I will dial it back and tell you what I really think.

Kim, in my mind I knew your goal was to always look like LaToya Jackson. You’ve out-LaToyaed LaToya in your new look. Don’t blame photoshopping, blame your plastic surgeon girl.

The picture may be photoshopped (click HERE to see a picture of her earlier that day in the same outfit) or it could be a bad angle. But at the end of the day, regardless if the picture was photoshopped or not, her plastic surgery is horrible! As I searched for photos to include in this post, all I could say was “DAMN” when looking at the images on Google. It was like looking at the evolution of her face. The drastic change in her appearance is quite sad. Where were her friends to tell her no more?!?!

AP Photo/Peter Kramer; Winston Burris/WENN.com

No amount of photoshop can turn the “Crush on You” Lil’ Kim to a Lil’ Kim that looks like LaToya Jackson’s cousin. To proclaim that the media has photoshopped her pictures for years really speaks volumes to her denial on how she really looks. My guess is she used plastic surgery to hide some serious insecurities. There are some deep issues that triggered her to get surgery after surgery when she should’ve stopped a long time ago. Unfortunately over the years, plastic surgery has taken focus away from who she is as a person and her music (rumor has it she’s supposed to be releasing new music this year). When I look at Lil’ Kim, I don’t think of “one of the biggest female rappers of the 1990s.” All I think is “why did she do that to herself?”

Ladies, let this be a lesson to embrace your natural beauty. If you feel you absolutely have to have plastic surgery, please see a therapist before doing so to determine the REAL reason you choose to alter your appearance.  I’d hate for a nose job to turn into 10+ years of surgery where you become unrecognizable.

I want the old Lil’ Kim back….

Source: theJasmindBrand & Necole Bitchie

Wednesday night I attended the Endless Touch launch party hosted by creator and hair stylist Alicia Holliday.  The party was held in the Art Room at Tabaq Bistro which served as the perfect location!

Hair stylist, make-up artist and Endless Touch creator Alicia Holliday

Endless Touch product basket

Alicia greeted all guests and spent time explaining the various products available along with background on why she decided to create Endless Touch. I must say, her product presentation was excellent. Pay attention to details folks!

Endless Touch Body Butter

Endless Touch product list and body oil

In the middle of the room there was a table where guest could sample the hair & body oil (which I love), body butter and body scrub in various scents.  Guests also enjoyed treats and a signature cocktail named after the mango flavored lip balm (my other favorite product).

Treats by Simply Chic Cakery

Juicy Mango Cocktail

Me and Alicia

I had a great time at the event. I’m extremely proud of Alicia and love her new products (I was first introduced to her products last year a few weeks before I gave away the gift basket)!  If you love natural products and are interested in trying Endless Touch, please visit www.endlesstouch.biz.  Products are available for women, men and children. Alicia is currently offering specials for Valentine’s Day, so feel free to contact her via her website for more information.

Created by Melissa Butler in 2011, the Lip Bar was created to encourage women to let go of their fears and wear bright, bold, healthy lip color.  “Handcrafted with a unique blend of natural ingredients including vitamin E, shea butter and avocado oil, the Lip Bar lipsticks are designed to moisturize, soften and amplify lips all while setting you apart with intoxicatingly bold, kick-ass colors.”  The Lip Bar caters to individuality and encourages self-expression through beauty.

To introduce the brand to the fabulous ladies of the DMV, the Lip Bar is hosting a DC Launch event this Friday, October 5^th at Tabaq Bistro on U street.

Date: October 5, 2012

Time: 9:00pm to 2:30am

Location: Tabaq Bistro (1336 U Street NW, WDC)

To learn more about the Lip Bar, visit www.thelipbar.com  To RSVP, visit www.famuhowardweekend.com.

Last December, I encouraged you to take part in the #ImREDy Campaign started by Carmen Williams, Naseya Minor and Nikki Foster.  The purpose of the campaign was to challenge us to step outside of our comfort zone, embrace our beauty and rock the bold red lipstick that makes of feel the most feminine!

The campaign was supposed to last for a month, but since it’s launch, it has gained the support of many!  In response to the overwhelming positive feedback, the ladies of the campaign have launched #ImREDy tees which are available for pre-order HERE.

Photo: TheSeventhDistrict.com

Photo: TheSeventhDistrict.com

I love this campaign!  It forced me to step outside my comfort zone and I now love wearing my red lipstick. It makes me feel bold and sexy. Remember ladies, when wearing your red lipstick, keep the rest of your makeup to a minimum; the red lip should be the focus.

If you’re one who is uncomfortable with the idea of wearing red lipstick, I encourage you to find a shade you like and wear it for a month. You may be a little self conscious at first, but after wearing for a few times, you’ll feel bold, sexy and feminine; eventually you will want to wear red lipstick for more than a month.

For updates on the #ImRedy campaign, follow on twitter at @imREDyNow and use the hashtag #imREDy.

Now, off to place an order for my #ImRedy tee…

I’ve come across a few women who love to look made up.  They have on THICK makeup, long weave and form fitting attire.  One day I ran into a woman who usually fits that description when seen out in the city.  This time however, because we were at a local restaurant, she didn’t have her weave in, bare face and very casual outfit.  She looked so pretty!! The guys I was with even complimented her and told her how much better she looked without all the hair and makeup.  She of course thought that she looked bad and I tried to reassure her that men like less when it comes to makeup and all the extras.  All the guys shook their heads in agreement.

Fast forward to earlier this week when I was reading ESSENCE. I came across an article titled “He’s Naturally Attracted To You” written by Sha Stimu.  Stimu discusses how he dated a woman who wouldn’t let him see her without her weave in and when she did finally take it out for 2 weeks, she didn’t believe she was pretty, no matter how often he complimented her:

I want a woman to be able to look in the mirror and be comfortable with who she is.  A woman who couldn’t love herself as nature made her was not someone I could be with for the long haul….it’s really upsetting to me that so many women try to look like a video model or celebrity in their daily lives.

A lot of women would be surprised to hear such a thing.  The behavior of men often contradicts this idea of less is more. But I’ve heard men talk about it before; they don’t really like all the extras when looking for a serious relationships:

Men are visual creatures. But the women men like to check out are different from the ones we commit to. – Stimu

When it comes to makeup, I’m a true believer that makeup should ENHANCE your natural beauty.  It should add a little something extra. I love makeup just like the next woman but it shouldn’t be used to create a new face.  Similar to shopping, when applying makeup, play with your best features.  Great cheek bones? Have fun with blush.  Your makeup should not be so thick that it looks like a completely different face and could melt if you were to stand outside in the sun (I’ve seen that too)!

There’s nothing wrong with adding beauty products to enhance our looks. Many of us get our nails filled every two weeks, while others rock a weave every few weeks.  But all of that should look natural.  Don’t let makeup, weave and other fake assets define you!  I would hope when you look at your natural self in the mirror, you truly love the skin you’re in!

Sweatpants, hair tied, chilling with no makeup on. That’s when you’re the prettiest I hope that you don’t take it wrong. – Drake

There is a product for anything these days!

If you ever visit Mavericks Revue Bar in South Africa (a strip club) and but don’t want to smell like you did, Mavericks now sells Alibis Fragrance For Men. The cologne will camouflage the strip club scent.  I couldn’t make this up even if I tried!

Alibis Frangrance For Men scents include “I was working late” that smells of coffee, wool suits, cigarettes and ink, “My car broke down” that smells of fuel, burnt rubber, grease and steel and “Out Sailing” that smells of fresh ocean spray, sea salt, water and cotton rope.

According to Mavericks:

The fragrance market is a natural extension for the sexy, sophisticated and upmarket Mavericks brand, and the idea of a range of ‘Alibis’ is one that will undoubtedly generate interest, particularly for gentlemen upon leaving the club.

When I heard about this on the radio last week I thought it was ridiculous.  Do men really buy this stuff? Seriously, you have to cover up the fact that you went to the strip club? Maybe the women in South Africa aren’t as accepting of their men going to strip clubs because in the US, women (not all) will gladly go to the strip club with their man.

Fellas, if you were dating someone who was opposed to you going to the strip club and you went anyway, would you purchase this cologne?

What I really want to know if the scent is believable!

Source

When a new year arrives, people not only make resolutions but they also like to change their look. If you’re looking to switch things up, check out the ladies of Lolita & Alicia Hair and Makeup Team!

Located in Bethesda, MD at Lux Studios, Lolita and Alicia are offering $20 off any cut or color service between now and February 28th.  If you follow me on Twitter and/or Instagram, you may have noticed the picture I posted of me rocking my new red hair done by Alicia.  She is AMAZING at cut and color!

My New Color!

Not only is the new year a great opportunity to change your hair but it’s also a great time to work on your wardrobe! Many people need help going through their closets to determine what to keep or purge. Some want to update their wardrobe, especially if they are graduating and entering the work force this year. While others just want to revamp their look. I’m here to help you with ANY styling scenario you can think of! Between now and February 28th, enjoy a free consultation and 15% off styling services.

My Clients!

View Lolita and Alicia’s work on Facebook HERE and follow on twitter @LnAHair. To schedule an appointment with Lolita or Alicia,call 301-907-6810. If you’re a metro rider, Lux Studios is located right next to the Bethesda metro station on the red line.

To schedule an appointment with me, call me at (301) 836-1451 or email Keri@adivastateofmind.com.  Please feel free to check out my Look Book and Clients pages!! Hope to work with you soon.

If you know anyone interested in these services, please pass along this post!

Sometime those who do our eyebrows just don’t get it completely right.  Other times, we just want our brows to be a little thicker.  Both of these cases were reasons for me to search for an eyebrow pencil that would fill in my brows and still look natural.  Last month, I went to Ulta and the sales associate recommended the Pur Minerals 3-in-1 Universal Pencil. Retail for $17, I thought that was expensive until I tried it!

This eyebrow pencil is great! The pencil has a brush that allows for a nice blend. The pencil doesn’t smudge and has staying power.  Another bonus: the 3-in-1 Universal Pencil can also be used as a eye liner and lip liner (I haven’t tried using it for lips or eyes).  For the price, it doesn’t get much better than that!

The liner is available in four colors: Cocoa Topaz (I use this one), Natural, Golden Bronze, Alamandine. If you are in need of a brow enhancer, I highly recommend the Pur Minerals 3-in-1. Click HERE for more info. The Universal Pencil is online or at your local Ulta store.