At the end of 2012 I decided I was ready to change my hair again. After three years of short hair, I wanted to grow my hair out so I had the option to wear it curly or in top knots on hot summer days (getting my hair to that stage will probably take years)! After talking to my hair stylist, she also told me I really didn’t need relaxers anymore so my last relaxer was in December. Let the process to grow my hair AND go natural begin!
In January I got braids. I wore those for two months and by the time I took them out, my hair was at the “in between stage.” It wasn’t really short and it wasn’t really long. The “in between stage” is the WORST so I thought I’d try getting a weave. Folks have testified that wearing a sewn-in weave helped their hair grow so why not give it a try?!
After doing some research and asking a thousand questions to friends and my hair stylist, I got a sewn-in a few weeks ago. When I see other women wearing good weaves, they look so natural. So I was hoping for the same result. Even though I had quality hair and the stylist did a great job with the installation, I didn’t FEEL like my weave looked natural. Once I stepped out in public, I immediately became insecure. Is the length of the hair too much? Does it look like I’m wearing a wig? People are probably looking at me and thinking ‘what is that on her head?’ These were the constant thoughts that ran through my head.
Part of the issue was that the stylist originally doubled up on some tracks which added extra volume. After removing those pieces, the weave looked more natural but I was still uncomfortable. I haven’t had hair past my shoulders since I was 8 or 9 years old so let’s just say walking around with long hair was an adjustment. Oh the tricks our mind plays on us when it comes to how we view ourselves!
I’m not sure being uncomfortable with my weave is really a big deal, but the experience was definitely a lesson on how to deal with insecurities. My job as a personal stylist is to help women look and feel good about themselves; like so many women, I too sometimes don’t feel good about myself. We’re all a work in progress. It is natural for us to be insecure at times, but we can’t let our insecurities control us. If you don’t think you’re beautiful, write “I am beautiful” on your mirror and recite it to yourself every day until you believe it. If you don’t like your current weight, decide today you are going to something to change it. If you’re insecurity is fueled by the messages you receive from folks around you, it is time to change your circle. If you’re struggle with insecurities, I challenge you to change your environment in order to turn those negative views into positive ones.
Although it’s just hair, being reassured by friends and strangers that my hair looks nice was the affirmation I needed to accept and embrace my new look. After all, I spent a pretty penny on this hair and installation so it has to work for the next 2 months! As I continue on this journey to grow my hair out, don’t be surprised if you see long hair on me again this fall.
What are some things you do to help you overcome insecurities?