A Diva State of Mind

At the end of 2012 I decided I was ready to change my hair again. After three years of short hair, I wanted to grow my hair out so I had the option to wear it curly or in top knots on hot summer days (getting my hair to that stage will probably take years)!  After talking to my hair stylist, she also told me I really didn’t need relaxers anymore so my last relaxer was in December. Let the process to grow my hair AND go natural begin!

In January I got braids. I wore those for two months and by the time I took them out, my hair was at the “in between stage.” It wasn’t really short and it wasn’t really long. The “in between stage” is the WORST so I thought I’d try getting a weave. Folks have testified that wearing a sewn-in weave helped their hair grow so why not give it a try?!

Day of weave installation

After doing some research and asking a thousand questions to friends and my hair stylist, I got a sewn-in a few weeks ago. When I see other women wearing good weaves, they look so natural. So I was hoping for the same result. Even though I had quality hair and the stylist did a great job with the installation, I didn’t FEEL like my weave looked natural. Once I stepped out in public, I immediately became insecure. Is the length of the hair too much? Does it look like I’m wearing a wig? People are probably looking at me and thinking ‘what is that on her head?’ These were the constant thoughts that ran through my head.

Part of the issue was that the stylist originally doubled up on some tracks which added extra volume.  After removing those pieces, the weave looked more natural but I was still uncomfortable.  I haven’t had hair past my shoulders since I was 8 or 9 years old so let’s just say walking around with long hair was an adjustment. Oh the tricks our mind plays on us when it comes to how we view ourselves!

2-3 weeks after installation

I’m not sure being uncomfortable with my weave is really a big deal, but the experience was definitely a lesson on how to deal with insecurities. My job as a personal stylist is to help women look and feel good about themselves; like so many women, I too sometimes don’t feel good about myself. We’re all a work in progress. It is natural for us to be insecure at times, but we can’t let our insecurities control us.  If you don’t think you’re beautiful, write “I am beautiful” on your mirror and recite it to yourself every day until you believe it. If you don’t like your current weight, decide today you are going to something to change it. If you’re insecurity is fueled by the messages you receive from folks around you, it is time to change your circle. If you’re struggle with insecurities, I challenge you to change your environment in order to turn those negative views into positive ones.

Although it’s just hair, being reassured by friends and strangers that my hair looks nice was the affirmation I needed to accept and embrace my new look. After all, I spent a pretty penny on this hair and installation so it has to work for the next 2 months! As I continue on this journey to grow my hair out, don’t be surprised if you see long hair on me again this fall.

What are some things you do to help you overcome insecurities?

A$AP Rocky is the latest entertainer to cause quite a stir with misguided comments about women.

In a recent interview with The Coveteur, A$AP Rocky shared his thoughts on red lipstick:

“But for real, for me, I feel like with the red lipstick thing it all depends on the pair of complexion. I’m just being real. You have to be fair skinned to get away with that. Just like if you were to wear like-f*cking for instance, what do dark skin girls have that you know fair skinned girls cant do…Purple lipstick? Naw, that looks stupid on all girls! Purple lipstick, guys! Like, what the f*ck…”

I really hate reading rapper interviews because they never speak in complete sentences. But I digress…

Does anyone else think this is a form of colorism?? A$AP Rocky needs to leave beauty advice to the experts because he clearly knows nothing about red lipstick. Last time I checked, red lipstick comes in a variety of shades that compliment every skin tone! And don’t get me started on purple lipstick. Purple lipstick is gorgeous; especially a dark plum shade that can be worn during the fall and winter season. I LOVE my purple lipstick. It’s a great alternative to red and looks gorgeous against dark skin women.  As the Huffington Post pointed out, ASAP’s Rocky’s fellow Harlem-native rapper Azealia Banks is making a pretty penny off her purple-hued pout.

Messages like this by folks like A$AP Rocky only emphasizes why campaigns like ImREDy are so important. Women of ALL complexions need to embrace their beauty and not be afraid to wear whatever they want. Red lipstick is fun, fierce, bold, sexy and helps women exude a confidence they may not always show (At least it does that for me. I hadn’t worn red lipstick for over 10 years until I decided to participate in the ImREDy campaign). All it takes is a little trial and error to find the correct shade.

In response to this foolish statement about dark-skinned women and red lipstick, Clutch Magazine offers some great advice on finding the perfect shade:

• If you have a warm, golden undertone (think Gabrielle Union), reds with a yellow or brown base will work for you.
• If your skin is more cool and you have a red undertone (think Viola Davis) or blue undertone (think Alek Wek), deep reds with a blue base are your best bet.
• If your skin is olive based (think Lauryn Hill), reds with a neutral undertone are the best way to go.
• Bonus: If your lips are dark, dab some concealer on them to even out the tone before applying lipstick.

In the words of Tamar Braxton, A$AP Rocky “TRIED IT!” My advice to him: stick to rapping and modeling in magazines.

Read his full interview here.

Wednesday night I attended the Endless Touch launch party hosted by creator and hair stylist Alicia Holliday.  The party was held in the Art Room at Tabaq Bistro which served as the perfect location!

Hair stylist, make-up artist and Endless Touch creator Alicia Holliday

Endless Touch product basket

Alicia greeted all guests and spent time explaining the various products available along with background on why she decided to create Endless Touch. I must say, her product presentation was excellent. Pay attention to details folks!

Endless Touch Body Butter

Endless Touch product list and body oil

In the middle of the room there was a table where guest could sample the hair & body oil (which I love), body butter and body scrub in various scents.  Guests also enjoyed treats and a signature cocktail named after the mango flavored lip balm (my other favorite product).

Treats by Simply Chic Cakery

Juicy Mango Cocktail

Me and Alicia

I had a great time at the event. I’m extremely proud of Alicia and love her new products (I was first introduced to her products last year a few weeks before I gave away the gift basket)!  If you love natural products and are interested in trying Endless Touch, please visit www.endlesstouch.biz.  Products are available for women, men and children. Alicia is currently offering specials for Valentine’s Day, so feel free to contact her via her website for more information.

I’m really excited about today’s giveaway! My friend and hair stylist Alicia Holiday recently created a line of 100% natural hair and body care products. If you follow me on Instagram, you may have seen me post a picture of her products.

Endless Touch products include body butter, hair and body oils, body scrub and lip balm.   Products are available for men, women and children. The body oil is one of my favorite products.  It’s great to use after taking a shower.  Unlike other oil based products, the body oil absorbs quickly but still leaves your skin moisturized   I also tried the lip balm and body scrub. I love the lip balm because you don’t have to reapply it every 30 mins; this balm will keep your lips hydrated for a few hours.  The body scrub does a great job leaving your skin soft after use and like the other products, it smells amazing!

To honor the release of her new line, I partnered with Alicia to give away a gift basket! The basket includes a sugar scrub, body butter and hair/body oil. Enter the giveaway by using the widget below!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

For more information about Endless Touch visit www.endlesstouch.biz.

GOOD LUCK

Last Thursday, I was invited to attend the Beauty That Starts Deeper Concert Series featuring Elle Varner. The event was hosted by CLEAR SCALP & HAIR BEAUTY THERAPY Ultra Shea and was one of many events to kickoff Howard Homecoming Weekend.

The event was held at Shadow Room and included delicious hors d’oeuvres and open bar!  When I arrived, I wasn’t directed to the official meet & greet session with Elle Varner that was set up for bloggers, so I was a little bummed since I was prepared to ask a few questions. However, I was able to find Nicole, the PR representative for the event, and she allowed me to briefly meet Elle Varner and take a picture with her before she hit the stage! 

After taking a picture, I grabbed a cocktail and headed to the VIP section which included seating near the stage. For the next 40-50 minutes, Elle Varner sang tracks off her debut album Perfectly Imperfect  including “Only Want To Give It To You,” “Refill,” “I Don’t Care,” “What A Night” and “Leaf.”

All attendees left with gift bags that included the September issue of EBONY Magazine and a sample of the SCALP & HAIR BEAUTY THERAPY Ultra Shea Shampoo and Conditioner.

The atmosphere was perfect for the intimate concert and Elle Varner put on a great show!  Along with singing songs off her album, at one point during her performance, she sang renditions of Brandy’s “I Wanna Be Down” and Frank Ocean’s “Thinking ‘Bout You.”  I am a fan and LOVE her album. I listen to it almost every day while riding the metro to work, so I was extremely excited to attend the event. If you don’t have her album, I highly recommend you get it!  Track #5, “Not Tonight,” is the truth!

The concert series continues in Durham, Atlanta and Tallahassee in conjunction with the homecoming festivities of historically black colleges and universities (HBCU) in those cities.

With Naseya of TheSeventhDistrict.com above. Please check out her site for more photos and to see video from the official meet & greet session.

Alicia Holiday is not only a great hair stylist (she’s responsible for my fabulous cut!) but she’s also a makeup artist.  I have a habit of wearing the same make up looks over and over again, so I was excited when I found out she began creating video tutorials on how to create fabulous looks.

Below is a tutorial by Alicia on how to create a smokey eye.

To view all of her videos, click HERE.  You can also check out her hair styling work on Facebook.  She is also offering $5 off your first salon visit. She is located at The Edge Hair Studio in Wheaton, MD. If you’re interested in receiving the $5 coupon, please let me know.

I’ve come across a few women who love to look made up.  They have on THICK makeup, long weave and form fitting attire.  One day I ran into a woman who usually fits that description when seen out in the city.  This time however, because we were at a local restaurant, she didn’t have her weave in, bare face and very casual outfit.  She looked so pretty!! The guys I was with even complimented her and told her how much better she looked without all the hair and makeup.  She of course thought that she looked bad and I tried to reassure her that men like less when it comes to makeup and all the extras.  All the guys shook their heads in agreement.

Fast forward to earlier this week when I was reading ESSENCE. I came across an article titled “He’s Naturally Attracted To You” written by Sha Stimu.  Stimu discusses how he dated a woman who wouldn’t let him see her without her weave in and when she did finally take it out for 2 weeks, she didn’t believe she was pretty, no matter how often he complimented her:

I want a woman to be able to look in the mirror and be comfortable with who she is.  A woman who couldn’t love herself as nature made her was not someone I could be with for the long haul….it’s really upsetting to me that so many women try to look like a video model or celebrity in their daily lives.

A lot of women would be surprised to hear such a thing.  The behavior of men often contradicts this idea of less is more. But I’ve heard men talk about it before; they don’t really like all the extras when looking for a serious relationships:

Men are visual creatures. But the women men like to check out are different from the ones we commit to. – Stimu

When it comes to makeup, I’m a true believer that makeup should ENHANCE your natural beauty.  It should add a little something extra. I love makeup just like the next woman but it shouldn’t be used to create a new face.  Similar to shopping, when applying makeup, play with your best features.  Great cheek bones? Have fun with blush.  Your makeup should not be so thick that it looks like a completely different face and could melt if you were to stand outside in the sun (I’ve seen that too)!

There’s nothing wrong with adding beauty products to enhance our looks. Many of us get our nails filled every two weeks, while others rock a weave every few weeks.  But all of that should look natural.  Don’t let makeup, weave and other fake assets define you!  I would hope when you look at your natural self in the mirror, you truly love the skin you’re in!

Sweatpants, hair tied, chilling with no makeup on. That’s when you’re the prettiest I hope that you don’t take it wrong. – Drake

When a new year arrives, people not only make resolutions but they also like to change their look. If you’re looking to switch things up, check out the ladies of Lolita & Alicia Hair and Makeup Team!

Located in Bethesda, MD at Lux Studios, Lolita and Alicia are offering $20 off any cut or color service between now and February 28th.  If you follow me on Twitter and/or Instagram, you may have noticed the picture I posted of me rocking my new red hair done by Alicia.  She is AMAZING at cut and color!

My New Color!

Not only is the new year a great opportunity to change your hair but it’s also a great time to work on your wardrobe! Many people need help going through their closets to determine what to keep or purge. Some want to update their wardrobe, especially if they are graduating and entering the work force this year. While others just want to revamp their look. I’m here to help you with ANY styling scenario you can think of! Between now and February 28th, enjoy a free consultation and 15% off styling services.

My Clients!

View Lolita and Alicia’s work on Facebook HERE and follow on twitter @LnAHair. To schedule an appointment with Lolita or Alicia,call 301-907-6810. If you’re a metro rider, Lux Studios is located right next to the Bethesda metro station on the red line.

To schedule an appointment with me, call me at (301) 836-1451 or email Keri@adivastateofmind.com.  Please feel free to check out my Look Book and Clients pages!! Hope to work with you soon.

If you know anyone interested in these services, please pass along this post!

While we are empowering each other this month to step outside of our comfort zone and rock red lipstick let’s also empower each other to not wear our silk bonnets in public!

I was on my way home via the metro earlier this week.  I walked on the train, only to find a young lady wearing her bonnet and I was inspired to write a post because it happens WAY TOO OFTEN!!!  Ladies, I know you may experience a bad hair day.  You may not feel like combing out your hair you wrapped the night before or you may have too much going on that day to feel the need to do your hair.  Whatever the reason may be, it does not warrant walking out of the house looking like you’re getting ready for bed or just rolled out of bed. If you need to cover your hair that badly, put on a cute hat. There are a PLETHORA of options to choose from that will allow you to still be stylish without having to do your hair.

My hair isn’t perfect either; if I’m running errands I don’t feel like doing my hair or I may just have a bad hair day.  What do I do? I reach for a hat and make it work!  It may be my wool beret or my Express military hat.  The public does not need to know what I look like in my head scarf (I don’t wear a bonnet) when I’m going to bed and wake up in the morning.  The public doesn’t need to know the same about you either!  Leave it at home!!!

I know someone may ask the question why? Well the reason is that you should always look decent when in public. You never know who you’ll run into.  Would you really want to run into a coworker or someone from church wearing your silk bonnet? Sorta awkward. And in all honesty, it just looks tacky.  I’m not saying you have to get dressed up because even I have gone out in public in a pair of sweat pants before. However my hair looked presentable or I had a hat on.  You’d be surprised; guys actually approach a cute woman wearing a pair of sweats.  But I digress…

The point is, there is a time and place for everything. And while they cover your hair and keep it in place, bonnets should not be worn in public.  I’m sure most of you reading this probably already know better but just in case some of you don’t , let’s make a pledge from this day forward to leave the silk bonnet at home!

Sometime those who do our eyebrows just don’t get it completely right.  Other times, we just want our brows to be a little thicker.  Both of these cases were reasons for me to search for an eyebrow pencil that would fill in my brows and still look natural.  Last month, I went to Ulta and the sales associate recommended the Pur Minerals 3-in-1 Universal Pencil. Retail for $17, I thought that was expensive until I tried it!

This eyebrow pencil is great! The pencil has a brush that allows for a nice blend. The pencil doesn’t smudge and has staying power.  Another bonus: the 3-in-1 Universal Pencil can also be used as a eye liner and lip liner (I haven’t tried using it for lips or eyes).  For the price, it doesn’t get much better than that!

The liner is available in four colors: Cocoa Topaz (I use this one), Natural, Golden Bronze, Alamandine. If you are in need of a brow enhancer, I highly recommend the Pur Minerals 3-in-1. Click HERE for more info. The Universal Pencil is online or at your local Ulta store.