Archive for March, 2010

Where Has The Art of Dating Gone?

Disclaimer:  Let me go ahead and apologize for the length of this post. My posts aren’t usually excessively long because no one wants to read that much, but this one is a must!!! Enjoy!

 dating 200x300 Where Has The Art of Dating Gone?

I’ve hung out a few times with a friend of mine: we went out to lunch, movies, etc.  And every time we hung out, he would ask: “are we having a sleepover?” My answer every time: “No, why would we do that?”

Now I will admit that we’ve flirted before in a social setting, but does flirting and hanging out a few times (2-3 times) really equate to having sleepovers?  What happened to going out on dates, getting to know each other, talking on the phone (or through g-chat or bbm these days lol). In this new age, has the art of traditional dating really gone out the window??

 Well, I was going to write this long drawn out post about how I feel like there really isn’t a standard when it comes to dating anymore.  But then, I found this article from Black Voices, through Clutch Magazine, on 10 dating rules for single gals.

In the age of social media and“modern” lifestyles, here are some dating rules that will and should never be thrown out the window.  And of course, for some of these rules, I had to follow with some of my own comments!  (My thoughts are italicized)

From Black Voices,

10 Dating Rules To Help Single Gals Stay Sane

 1.  Never ask a guy out
Even in our post modern society where men do respect an independent woman who can do for herself, the thrill of the chase still remains. Men will swear up and down they would rather not deal with a difficult woman or one that is to hard to reel in, but they secretly really do love the challenge. Hard to get still works, because men are smart enough to know nothing worth it comes easy.

 If that’s the case, then this is going to be a boring summer! Lol If I have to sit around and wait for a guy to ask me out, I’ll be waiting forever! Guys talk a good game, but they don’t always step up like they should.  Fellas: If you want to hang out, step up and make the first move!!

2. Never advertise
Branding yourself in business is great, but in your love life? Not so much. Guys recognize that a woman who is always advertising to potential suitors what she can do is also a woman covering up a lot that she can’t deliver. There’s no need to always state how much you can cook or how much you enjoy watching football. If it’s true, actions speak louder than words and he will soon see. Instead of putting all your selling points out there, let him discover your added value.

3. Never do house dates
If you start having dates in the house, you will always stay in… the house. Granted we are in a recession, but work it out, because when you’re first dating someone it is good to see how they interact with not only you, but the public as well. Blockbuster nights are cool but not exactly appropriate for the first few months of dating. You won’t be able to check your guy on romance later on, if you never started expecting it from the jump.

NEVER?? So I’m suppose to wait 2-3 months before a movie night or dinner for two at home?  Now I understand it’s good to see how they interact in public, but I don’t necessarily need 3 months to figure that out.  And dinner and a movie at the house is a nice change of scenery from always going out and can be very romantic.  I also don’t expect either one of us to go broke trying to hang out in public all the time… #justsaying

4. Never pressure him into introducing you to friends/family
Why do you want to get to know Tyrone when you’re still getting to know your man? Guys will allow you meet his boys, his mama or his daughter when they feel comfortable. Most guys feel that bringing a new woman into their “other world” is a major move, and pressing the issue will only cause them to retreat. Realize you’ve been around for a few weeks, and these people have been in his life for much longer. Don’t force the issue; you risk losing the sincerity of the introduction.

5. Never try to control anything but yourself.
When things don’t go the way we want, a few of us go-getters will try to control and manipulate the situation so that it makes more sense to us. When getting to know someone and building a foundation, reach that level of maturity that allows you to know that what will be done will be done, and you can only control how you react. That isn’t to say just put up with just anything, but knowing you can’t change anyone is important. When it’s all said and done, you can only change your own perspective and actions.

LADIES, READ THE HEADING OVER AND OVER AND OVER….no one ever wants to admit it, but most of us want to be in control. And NO, you can’t change a man, so please get that idea out of your head!

6. Never apologize for having standards
Standards are essential; they ward off all the losers. Whether your standards are high or specific make no apologies for them, it is okay to want what you want. What you accept from him in the beginning is what you will have to continually tolerate. Period.

We so often feel like we need to compromise ourselves in order to get what we think we need at the moment!! DON’T!!! Always leave room for compromise and be a little more open to allow yourself the opportunity to meet people you might not have met in different circumstances, but never change your standards for how you should be treated and what you deserve.

7. Never try to think what he is thinking
Trying to think for him, especially in the beginning, will have us lost and mistaken. A man’s mind doesn’t work like ours, and with the pressure society puts on them, more than likely their thoughts are not as love focused. Nine times out 10,what you you may think is deep and serious, he hasn’t even thought twice about. Instead of assuming and being wrong, it’s much easier to ask and discover.

Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus.  We don’t think alike, so stop trying to figure him out!!! Just ask if you really want to know. If you’re dealing with real men, they’ll be open and honest with you.

8. Never invade his privacy
No matter how tempting or how angry you may be, don’t cross the privacy line. That means no rummaging through his drawers, peeking at his cell phone texts when he’s snoring or popping up unannounced to his crib for a “surprise visit.” Whether your intentions are good or not, invading his privacy is like putting him in a choke hold — he’ll start to feel he can’t breathe.

Ladies you know you would feel some type of way if he did the same thing! Let’s remember to treat him the way we want to be treated. It’s that simple.

9. Never tell everything
The idea of leaving something to the imagination doesn’t just apply to your attire, it also applies to your personal business. While it’s good to tell the truth, it never works in your favor to put every secret, every past relationship, every wild moment that transpired out in a dinner conversation. He may open up to you and share his heart, but please believe he’s leaving out a few details. You don’t want any big reveals early in the relationship to later be the reason he runs for the hills when something goes wrong. “She did say she slashed her ex’s tires…”

10. Never let a guy be your only activity
No matter how fun and amazingly connected you feel in the first few months, stay busy with other things. Outside of your job, there should still be other things going on, so that all your energy and time isn’t invested in your suitor to prematurely. Tying it all back to rule No. 1 — guys love a challenge, and there is nothing challenging about a woman who is up under them and always available.

If you’ve been following the blog over the past few months and/or know me, you should know how I feel about this!!! The one thing I hate is when someone gets so caught up and forget that there is a world outside the 2 of them! You had a life before him, so let’s continue to act like it because if it doesn’t last, what are you going to do???

 

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Erykah Badu Bares All…Literally

Erykah Baduhas been creating a buzz on the internet since she aired her new video “Window Seat.”  She has guys dropping their jaws, as she walks the street baring all.  But her nudity isn’ t the only thing making people talk;  Badu decided to bare all in her new video at Dealey Plaza in Dallas, Texas where John F. Kennedy was assassinated.  

Regardless of all the “controversy,” I’m glad Erykah Badu is back.  We’ve been missing some real soulful R&B on the music scene.  

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uS3ikrTJTqk

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Usher “Lil Freak” feat. Nicki Minaj

Usher is back Tuesday, March 30th with his new album Raymond vs. Raymond. I’ve very interested to see the reviews of this album after it drops.  So far, the songs he’s released have revealed his freaky side (Lil Freak, Daddy), implying we’re going to see a side of Usher we didn’t get to see on his last album (the only real memorable song off his last album was “Love In This Club.” Was that because he was married at the time?)

Usher appears to be one of those artist who has to really being going though something to deliver catchy songs and some hits.  We all remember Confessions.  That was one of his best albums!! So I wonder, after going through a divorce, how will this new album measure up?

While we wait for the new album to drop, check out the latest video “Lil Freak feat. Nicki Minaj” 

By the way,  who is Usher’s stylist? His fashion choices haven’t been the greatest lately and the basic tee he’s wearing in the video isn’t a step up either.  I’m just sayin…

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dNVNzRzDt-k

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ESSENCE.com: Lance Gross & Eva Marcille Split

evamarcellepigford lancegross 122908 185x300 ESSENCE.com: Lance Gross & Eva Marcille SplitNow you all know I don’t do much celebrity gossip on the blog site, but when I saw this news on Twitter, I was a little sad.  Lance Gross and Eva Marcille have split!!  :(  According to ESSENCE.com, “When ESSENCE.com reached out to the couple’s representatives for confirmation about the break-up we were given this official joint statement. ‘Lance Gross and Eva Marcille have mutually decided to end their relationship. The split is completely amicable,’ the statement reads.”

Now those America’s Next Top Model lovers will know Miss Eva from Season 3 as the diva who wasn’t going to let anyone get in her way to make it to the top! I don’t know much about Lance Gross, except that his big break came on Tyler Perry’s House of Payne.

They seamed like such a couple, young black couple, making their mark in the entertainment and fashion industry. I had hope for these two because when they were first interviewed on ESSENCE.com, they seemed to be so much in love. 

Well I do hope they get back together.  It’s not often that we see successful, young black couples in the limelight. I mean we have Will & Jada, but it was nice too see the next generation of couples in Black Hollywood.

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Ladies of The View vs. Elizabeth on Health Care Reform

One disadvantage to working a 9-5pm job is that I miss watching The View icon sad Ladies of The View vs. Elizabeth on Health Care Reform I love watching the hot topics because the ladies go in on each other, especially Whoopi Goldberg and Elizabeth Hasselbeck.  So it was no surprise that after Health Care Reform passed, Elizabeth had a lot to say.   But please believe the ladies, especially Whoopi, weren’t going to let her get away with expressing herself without raising questions of there own.  I’m surprised this didn’t turn into a shouting match…

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f_5GYyy-Arw

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NY-Z: An ABSOLUT Collaboration with Jay-Z

ABSOLUT teamed up with Jay-Z to create this 15 minute documentary following Jay-Z as he releases his new album Blueprint 3 and prepares for his September 11th benefit concert in NYC at Madison Square Garden. Check it out!!!

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q6zVR0SgSOM

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The Big Tigger Morning Show: What do you think??

Big Tigger morning show1 300x200 The Big Tigger Morning Show: What do you think??Yesterday was the first day of The Big Tigger Morning Show; the replacement to the Donnie Simpson Morning Show.  The show features BET personality, Danella and comedian Donnell Rawlings as Tigger’s co-hosts.  I’m not surprised Tigger took over the morning show, even thought the radio station made his exit from his afternoon 2-6pm time slot a very dramatic one (for a minute, we all thought he was leaving the radio station for good).

Unfortunately, I didn’t get a chance to truly tune in for the show’s entire 4 hours and assess if I’m going to like it.  I mean, from what I heard this morning on my way to the metro, it wasn’t anything too different. Although, Tigger screaming at the top of his lungs at 6am may be a little much.  Of course, it’ll take getting used to since I woke up every morning to The Donnie Simpson Show and his catchy theme song since I was little!

What do you think of The Big Tigger Morning Show?  Especially you loyal WPGC listeners…will you be tuning in every morning???

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Let’s Care About How We Look

girl looking in mirror1 200x300 Lets Care About How We Look

I have an observation to make:

People don’t care about the way they look 

That is a random and bold statement to make, yes I know, but it’s soooo true.  Everyday I take the metro to work so I can’t help but people watch if I’ve finished reading the Express paper that day.  Between the people I see on the metro and in L’Enfant Plaza, I have to wonder, “did you look at yourself in the mirror before you left your house?  People will wear just about anything these days.  I wish I could walk around and hand out a flyer listing what I consider to be inappropriate work attire!

But please don’t be mistaken. We’re not just talking about work attire.  People don’t care what they look like in general (or they assume they look good when they don’t). I went to a party the other night and this lady had all of her chest hanging out.  Who told her that was ok??!  Ladies, we need to work on being sexy not trashy.  There is a difference!!

So my point is this.  We need to show up when we step out the door.  In other words, we need to come looking CORRECT.  That doesn’t mean every time you step out the house you have to wear a suit or wear your 5 inch heels, but that does mean you need to look put together.  Ladies, I know, you’re not going to want to do your hair everyday (believe me, some days during the weekends I don’t until I’m going out), but please believe, if I’m wearing a hat that day, I will still look stylish and make it work.  There is a way to be casual without looking like you’re going to lying in bed all day. (But if you’re going from your house to a friend’s house to lounge around all day, by all means, wear anything you want! Lol)

All I’m asking is that we all (ladies and gents) take an extra 5 minutes and think about how we look before we step out in public.  First impression is everything, so why not always be a position to make a good one? You never know who you’re going to meet.

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Diva Spotlight: Natalie Robinson, The Second Lady of Football

Second Lady of Football Diva Spotlight: Natalie Robinson, The Second Lady of FootballOn March 12, 2010, Natalie Robinson became the first female coach at Calvin Coolidge Senior High School in Washington, DC.  She is the second female to coach High School Football behind Debbie Vance, the coach at Lehman High School in New York.

Robinson is a 29 year old biology and environmental sciences teacher.  She was a wide receiver for a five years and played on special teams for DC Divas, a professional women’s team, so she has a true understanding of football.   Her new players are excited and anxious for their new female coach.

As a fan of football, I’m glad to see women are making their way into coaching. It’s about time we made an impact in the male dominated sport.   I know we have a long way to go before we see a female coach on the college or football level, but we have to start somewhere.

To learn more about Natalie Robinson, visit The Early Show.

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Move Over Victoria Secret: Keva by Keva J.

Last week, BET’s Rip The Runway showcased the Keva by Keva J. Spring Swimsuit collection.  Most of the designers featured showcased clothing, so it was refreshing to see a swimsuit designer.  Now I know there are a number of swimwear designers out there, but of course the first one that comes to my mind and the mind of so many is Victoria Secret (probably because they are in my price range when they go on sale).  But for those of us who want to try a different, but just as sexy, brand (designer), definitely check out Keva by Keva J.   Talk about FIERCE!! Heads will definitely turn when you walk down the beach in these suits!

Here are some of my favorites from Rip The Runway:

keva j 1 134x300 Move Over Victoria Secret: Keva by Keva J.

keva j 2 110x300 Move Over Victoria Secret: Keva by Keva J.

 

keva j 3 126x300 Move Over Victoria Secret: Keva by Keva J.

 

keva j 41 137x300 Move Over Victoria Secret: Keva by Keva J.

 

Check out the entire Spring & Fall Collection at http://kevabykevaj.com/home.html

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