A Diva State of Mind

I’m a flirt and a lot of guys I know are flirts too, so it’s only natural that with some people that would be the basis of your friendship.  But what makes things complicated is when feelings get involved.  Now I had flirted FOREVER with a friend of mine, but unfortunately after a while I did catch feelings.  But like most guys I know, he was just having a good time. He has a lot of females friends, likes to flirt with a lot of people; that’s just who he is.

So after learning all of that, I removed myself from hanging out with him for a little bit so I could detox myself of those feelings and move on. And I was doing great for the last couple of months until I caught myself caring again. It mattered if he was paying me any attention and it mattered if we flirted again because we had started to do so.  I was doing so well moving forward and then I took 2 steps backward…SMDH

Of course after much discussion with close friends about the situation and what I truly deserve, why should I even care? I deserve a lot more than I receive so why do I even put up with it? I blame myself because I know I’m better than this.  I often think that I have to keep this person around or act this way because he starts the flirting or we have the same friends.  But obviously that’s not the case.  We may just have to be acquaintances and hang out from a distance, if at all.

Flirting is always fun, but it can be dangerous once feelings get involved.   So I proved to myself that while I thought I was over this person, there may be some feelings still there and that’s a PROBLEM.  My emotions and what I allow to get to me are things I am continuously working on.

What is the best way to REALLY get over someone??? Do I stop talking and hanging out completely?   It sucks because we have the same friends and live in the same area, but something’s gotta give.  I’m ready to get back on track and keep taking those steps forward.

What’s really considered flirting? Is it the exchange of phone numbers? Slow dancing at the club? Buying a drink and chatting for awhile? Making eye contact across the room and staring for that extra second??

A group of friends  recently went out to Happy Hour  and had a great time.  One of the guys and girls seemed to hit it off really well, if you can call it that. They chatted, exchanged contact info and even danced a little bit.  But you would’ve thought they knew each other for a long time; she’d walk by, they would grab hands. They’d all be standing around (both guys and girls) and he’d always grab the one girl to dance, none of his other female friends. They’d talk to each other, but close enough to consider evading personal space.

But I wonder, is all of that only considered flirting?!? Can there be any meaning behind all of the attention?

So what do you think falls under the title of JUST FLIRTING? When does the interaction between 2 people have a deeper meaning?

I’ve said it plenty of times, my friends are flirts. We all are! LOL So a group of us went out Saturday night to celebrate my best friend’s birthday and the drinks were definitely flowing.  Let’s just say, tequila told me it was ok to lock lips with a friend of mine.  Now at the time, I didn’t care; he’s single, I’m single and he likes to flirt so I didn’t think anything of it. UNTIL…..word on the street is that he has a girlfriend.

Now I love my friend to death and after doing some thinking, there is a possibility I would’ve even considered dating and seeing what would happen since he’s such a great guy (my girls LOVE HIM), but if he has a girlfriend, there is no reason he should be acting the way he’s been acting.  I don’t care what the situation with his girl is like; if he’s still calling her his girlfriend and taking the time to go see her every other weekend there is absolutely no reason he should be flirting with me.  And to make matters worse, he says in a joking manner “yea I just can’t hang out with you.” Uh yea you can, you just need to behave. I never really took him seriously so I guess it shouldn’t matter that it happened but if I was his girl, I wouldn’t want him saying and acting the way he was with me towards some other female.  I would be offended.  And I respect my boy too much to disrespect his relationship like that.

So my message to you ladies and gents is this:  If you have a girlfriend or boyfriend, regardless of the situation, it is NOT ok to flirt, grab, kiss, etc the opposite sex.  I don’t care if the relationship you are in is going through a rough patch, on the verge of breaking up or you’re unhappy. It doesn’t matter.  You are still in a relationship and as long as you are, you have signed up to be in  COMMITTEED, TRUSTING relationship and that means you shouldn’t say or do anything that your partner would feel is being unfaithful or questionable.  If the situation is that bad, BREAK UP and then you can do whatever you want as a SINGLE individual with other singles.  Yes, it’s that simple!